Heart Healthy :
Thoughts and Feelings
by Barbara A. Brehm, Ed.D.
In the past few years, medical researchers have shown what the great thinkers have known throughout time: Our thoughts and feelings matter. They determine not only our quality of life, but our quality of health, as well.
Cardiologist Redford Williams advises us to reduce our risk of heart disease by developing a "trusting heart." His research has found that the most toxic emotions appear to be anger and hostility. In one study of 255 physicians, for example, researchers found that those scoring high on a scale designed to measure hostility and anger experienced five times the number of heart attacks and were six times as likely to die as those with low hostility.
Secondhand smoke was made up of both mainstream smoke, which has been exhaled by a smoker, and side-stream smoke, which comes directly from the burning tobacco. Mainstream smoke is less hazardous because the smoker has partially filtered it for you. Side-stream smoke contains a higher concentration of toxic and carcinogenic compounds and comprises about 80 percent of secondhand smoke.
The following items are from the book Anger Kills. Choose the response that would best match your own for each situation described:
1. Someone treats me unfairly.
1. I usually forget it rather quickly.
2. I am apt to keep thinking about it for hours.
2. Someone criticizes something I have done.
1. I try to decide whether the criticism is justified.
2. I feel annoyed.
3. Someone bumps into me in a store.
1. I pass it off as an accident.
2. I feel irritated at the person's clumsiness.
4. I recall something that angered me previously.
1. The memory doesn't bother me nearly as much as the actual event did.
2. I feel angry all over again.
If you chose the "B" response to two or more situations, you may qualify as excessively angry.
In Anger Kills, Redford and Virginia Williams suggest many strategies to reduce anger and hostility. Here are a few:
Monitor your cynical thoughts. Keep a record of your angry feelings. The goal is to assess how often and in what situations feelings of hostility arise.
Stop hostile thoughts. Try a technique known as "thought stopping" when you find hostile thoughts intruding. As soon as you realize you are having a hostile thought, yell silently but loudly into your mind's ear "Stop!"
Reason with yourself. When you feel anger coming, ask yourself three questions: Is my anger justified? Does the situation deserve continued attention? Do I have a constructive response? So, for example, if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic, is your anger justified? Sure! Does it deserve continued attention? Well, there is nothing you can do now. And, certainly, shouting obscenities, blasting your horn or tailgating the other car is not constructive. It will only make that anger snowball and encourage negative health effects. A Chinese proverb says, "The fire you kindle for your enemy will burn you worse that it burns him."
Take a problem-solving approach to sources of stress. Remember the serenity prayer, and change the things you can change. Once you have done your best to deal directly with sources of stress you can change, you can then use other techniques to cope with the things you can't change.
Improve communication skills. Learn to listen, so that you can understand people before you jump to an angry response. And learn how to express your thoughts, feelings and ideas in a direct and effective manner.
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to understand others, especially those causing you irritation. Altruistic activities help open your heart, since helping others encourages empathy and trust, and makes you feel good.
Learn to laugh at yourself. Humor is great for deflecting anger. Laugh at your hostile thoughts and they will become smaller and less significant.
Confess your hostility problem to someone. Sharing your problem with a spouse or close friend opens your heart and increases your ability to trust.
Learn to relax. Exercise and active recreational pursuits are great stress-management strategies. So are relaxation techniques such as meditation.
Pretend today is your last. This enhances your ability to discern what is really important.
Practice forgiving. Instead of feeling hostile, forgive those who have mistreated you. Blame leads to anger; forgiveness heals.
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