I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.

We laugh at the joke, “I can quit smoking - no problem! I've done it many times!” In fact, each time we attempt to change a habit, we learn something about what works and what doesn't work for us. Unfortunately, we are often embarrassed or even ashamed when our attempts to change a habit fail, and we avoid thinking too much about our perceived failures. However, analyzing past attempts, whether our attempts failed completely, worked for a short while or took hold forever, can help us make plans to increase the likelihood that our resolutions will be successful this year.

Think about your past attempts to change a habit. Maybe you started exercising or eating better. Which attempts were most successful? Why do you think you were successful at those times? Which attempts were less successful? What factors affected the lack of success on these occasions? Write down your observations and ideas.

As you think about your past successes and less-successful learning experiences (let's not call them failures!), suspend judgment and self-criticism. Recognize that life is complicated, and many plans do not come to fruition. Avoid negative labels and blaming yourself or others. Instead, take a problem solving approach to help you be more successful this year.

Each person is different, and circumstances vary greatly from person to person and even from year to year in one person's life. Nevertheless, researchers have found that, when looking at successful behavioral change, several common themes emerge. Which of these seem to be true for you?

Specific plans work better than vague ideas

It is not enough to say, “I will exercise regularly.” Design a specific plan for when and where you will exercise. What will you do, and what do you need to do it?

Unrealistic goals are discouraging

Keep stress from interfering with your good intentions

Stress is an unpleasant fact and, throughout our lives, we develop ways to cope with stressful situations and feelings of stress. Take stock of your stress management skills. What are some of your best ways to reduce stress? (That do not create more stress!)

Research shows that taking a problem solving approach to stress is very important. Figure out what is creating stress for you, and then look for good solutions. In addition, regular physical activity is one of the most effective ways to reduce feelings of stress. Try walking several days a week, increasing your distances as you get in shape.

Plan for disruptions

Once you make a plan to change a habit, you will need to rely on a routine to help you reach your goals. Anything that disrupts that routine can mean giving up altogether if you are not careful. What disruptions have interfered with your past - holiday, visitors, travel, and illness? Make a plan for coping with these disruptions, even if it means taking a break from the routine for a few days. Plan to get back on track as soon as possible.

Get social support

Enlist the help and participation of your partner, family members, friends and co-workers. Share your hopes and dreams, and have your supporters help you with your program.